


Meta collection

by BurningAmber



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gen, M/M, March meta Challenge 2020, Meditation, Meta, Star Trek Meta, TOS meta, Vulcans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22816738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningAmber/pseuds/BurningAmber
Summary: All my meta in one place. Some of these can be controversial opinions and while I welcome discussions, I am not really looking to debate. if you don't agree with my pov please just skip.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 33
Kudos: 14
Collections: March Meta Matters Challenge





	1. Shyness, shame and validation

TOS Spock’s shyness is misunderstood a lot. He is not a person lacking self confidence in other areas except in love. Shame of losing control runs deep within him and yet it makes him who he is. Endearingly so. 

The shame is actually from within himself. Another thing which is misunderstood. Society mocking him in childhood definitely scarred him but he outgrew that. He is not that weak. On the contrary he is strong enough to choose his own path in defiance to what others think about him. So the source of shame is internal and being Vulcan is important to him for internal reasons as well. As a young boy he may have been trying to please others but not anymore. Losing control because he is so attracted to Jim, physically, emotionally and spiritually, is a battle fought completely within himself. 

For Jim to understand this, without judgement, is why TOS Jim is extraordinary. Jim needs it too. For all his flirting and his relationship experience, he craves deeply only this - the love of a being as intense as Spock, as private as Spock, as difficult to find as Spock and as devoted as Spock. Spock’s love is singular. Once he falls in love he will never stop loving. Through death, through space and time, Spock’s love doesn’t die. Hence Spock is wary of love. Because unlike others his love is so intense that it can ruin him he knows this. 

Jim is a very confident man too. He is also not easily swayed by others or needs validation from others. He has experienced relationships but until he meets Spock he had been restless. Deep within him he craves what only Spock can give. This kind of love , this eternal, deep, intense and selfless love which TOS spirk come to share, is what makes Jim feel complete finally and heals his own insecurities and fears.


	2. Spock Prime's last days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a headcanon but it's meta-ish in my opinion since it weaves in Eastern meditative practices into the head canon. I believe while the writers/Gene surely came up with the idea of a society which relies on meditation as a fundamental way of life, they do not do justice to how this may look due to the fact that the writers/creators are all westerns where meditation is NOT a part of life.

I like to think how Spock Prime spent his last days. How at peace he was. How he always had a tiny but gentle smile on his lips. How he openly shed a tear at the beauty of new Vulcan’s sun setting. His life’s sun would be setting soon and he was looking forward to it. To the next adventure. ( this turned into a looooong post!)

When he first started living on new Vulcan the others didn’t know what to do with him. A Vulcan from another timeline. What could he possibly help them with? He was so different. The way his eyes always smiled. Clearly he wasn’t true Vulcan. So, it was decided that he be “tested.” The remaining few advanced monk elders who were rescued came together and together they joiined Spock Prime in a group mind meld. This was a rarely done thing but it was necessary. The onlookers watched as the monks and Spock prime sat with straight backs, eyes closed, in a tight circle, for hours and hours. The meld ended after 2.5 vulcan days and when the monks opened their eyes, one by one, each rose and bowed down to Spock Prime. “Thee are a Kolinharu!” They were shocked. 

Spock Prime tried to downplay it all. “I am just an old scientist.”

The onlookers were even more shocked. Someone said, “But he smiles!” The senior most monk nodded slowly, still in awed admiration, “Thee has attained the highest level. Complete mastery. Logic is only the beginning of wisdom. Thee lives it.” 

And so it began. Spock Prime led the efforts to recreate the most revered of spiritual practices. He chose a high mountain on new Vulcan and he split his time between living and guiding abbots and between traveling. He refused the title of high priest. He said he wanted to simply be known as Ambassador Spock.

His disciples often wondered where he went off to when traveling? But no one knew. Spock prime could not be kept in check. Inspite of his advanced age, he would manage to slip through at night only to return weeks later.

Sometimes, a bold disciple would ask him if he missed his own universe. If he regretted how his actions caused the timeline to split. Spock prime would nod slowly and then that gentle ghost of a smile would appear. 

“When I was younger, yes.” Then he would have a far off look and shake his head, his eyes twinkling. “Not anymore. It is a fallacy to assume we control life. Life controls us. Thus regret and guilt are illogical. I have no regrets.”

As time went on, Spock spoke lesser and lesser during those years. Even lesser than usual taciturn Vulcan monks. One time a young monk who was struggling to sit long for his meditations had confined himself to his hut. Overcome with shame he isolated himself. No one could get through to him till one day the high priest himself came to his door. The youngster was flustered and let him in. Spock Prime closed the door and in quiet tones spoke at length. He told the young monk how as a child he was behind his peers. How throughout his youth he struggled with emotions and surrounded by humans only made it more difficult. 

How he worked so, so hard at mastering control over his emotions that when he finally did succeed he was more powerful than others. “It was my struggle that is responsible for who I am today. Perhaps you are destined to greatness too.” After the high priest had left his hut the young monk stared for a long time at the spot the high priest had sat. The next day he joined his peers on the meditation rock.

Towards the very end of his life, Spock prime started showing signs of often losing awareness and control. He stoppped speaking almost completely. He became child like.He started forgettting details of his past. Sometimes he forgot who he was. A sample of his brain tissue was sent down the mountain to the main city’s medical lab. 

Healers of new Vulcan diagnosed it as Bendi syndrome. The rare disease his Dad had suffered from. The early symptoms of the disease included sudden bursts of emotion, often irrational anger, and eventually all emotional control would be lost. Since a dangerous side effect of Bendii Syndrome was that the loss of emotional control could be telepathically projected to others,the healers cautioned the monks of new Vulcan’s mountain to remove Spock prime from premises. The advanced stage of the disease left the patient uncontrollable and miserable.

However, the monks all declined. When the healers and doctors warned that this was irresponsible, that Spock Prime belonged to medical care facility, the monks invited a few healers to the sacred mountain top to see for themselves. They came with instruments and medicines. What they encountered was a very old, frail, white haired monk who walked with a stooped gait. He did not respond to their questions. Just carried on about his business of calmly attending to his little garden where he grew terran plants called roses. 

To their surprise, the healers and scientists found that instead of anger, guilt, remorse, the high priest called Ambasaador Spock only projected boundless happiness and limitless compassion. The entire monastry had been blanketed by his powerful mind’s uncontrolled aura. Their instruments failed to find anything dangerous at all. Instead, the instruments recorded such high levels of mental clarity and peace that all previous research was rendered obsolete.

Just when they were about to leave, they heard the old, wizened monk utter a single word in his frail voice. “Jim.” Then he smiled at something, his gaze on something far away which only he knew.

The scientists were puzzled. “What is the meaning of Jim?”

The monks replied they did not know either. “He says it sometimes nowadays. When he is especially happy. We believe it must be a word in a foreign language from his universe that denotes the emotion of happiness.”

The scientists agreed that was the most plausible explanation. 

The day he died, surrounded by his disciples, many of whom travelled far distances to be near him at his moment of exit, he was in a particularly good mood. They knew that because he uttered “Jim” many times that morning. He left this universe with his trademark tiny smile on his lips, eyes closed, a picture of serenity.

  



	3. What does it mean to love someone who is different/difficult?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This meta is Amanda critical.

I was thinking about the difference between how Spock has been treated all his life ( TOS Spock) by others including his mother and then there’s Jim.

In the following scene, Amanda tries to elicit emotions out of Spock.

The thing is, Spock doesn’t **need** to be reminded that he has a human part. Every single moment of his childhood he struggles with it. By this age, in this scene above, he has displayed incredible personal courage to handle it. He has dived deep to realize who is he is. Neither human nor Vulcan but choosing to be more Vulcan because he is drawn to those values. 

She then goes on to remind him **why** he was in anguish. 

Yes, the other boys tormented him. The point is he **understands** that. He is a grown man now. He is extremely intelligent and is respected throughout the quadrant. She though shows no respect for him. She tries to revert him back to the helpless and struggling five year old he was. Because that for her is when she can connect with him. Even as a five year old he had stopped opening up to her. Because - while the other boys tormented him, they were still strangers. It was still possible to process non-acceptance from others. But own mother?

The she does this.

So, after the “other boys” had tormented him. what does she think she has done just now? Has been doing? 

Contrast that with following scene.

Notice Jim, having known Spock for a long time, still doesn’t assume anything. He **asks**. He asks if Spock feels insulted. They both know the previous scene was insulting. This is the critical difference. He shows respect for Spock. Gives Spock an opportunity to express his emotions as Spock wants to - not how he is **supposed** to. Something Amanda never does. Or Sarek. Spock responds in his own unique way. He doesn’t say “No, Jim, I am fine”. He conveys how he does feel insulted but he is also wise enough to realize how emotions work. That simply acknowleding emtoions is child’s play. To be wiser beyond that, one has to understand that emotions come and go. And that it’s in our control. We can choose to let go of an emotion and no longer feel insulted. This is what Spock has been striving for. This is something he tried to tell Amanda when he says “how can you live on Vulcan and not understand Vulcan”. 

So, Jim, who is NOT Vulcan, nor **tries** to be, and is a very emotional man, how does he respond to this moment?

**Good.** Why, good? Because Jim is saying, “I am glad you’re in touch with your values. It’s good because I want you to be exactly who you are.”

Jim doesn’t lecture Spock about his human side nor does he insult Spock by mocking his Vulcan ethics, which are in constrast to all the humans onboard the ship. He accepst Spock and supports Spock for what Spock has **chosen** to be. And he does what Spock’s parents or family never did. 

**“We’ll tackle him together.”** He says “WE”. The unspoken message is - You and me, we are equal, I “see” you. I feel seen by you. (You have put up with my kind of insanity). I respect you. I respect your struggles and admire what you have become and continue to become. With you by my side, I feel stronger. You don’t have to rescue me. I don’t have to rescue you. We can tackle this **TOGETHER**.”

And this is why Jim and Spock are what they are to each other.


	4. TOS Spirk - their struggles wit each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This meta is about the canon aspects which prevent from Spirk being a happy-ever-after.

Since we are all talking of TOS( yay!!!), I wanted to talk about the not-so-smooth aspects of Spirk. So, one way of looking at Spirk is to ignore canon of course lol. Which honestly is fun! But for discussion’s sake, let’s consider all of canon.

If so, then, we must acknowledge Jim falls in love with many people in his life. At least two of his lovers fall pregnant. He marries at least two. Most die tragically. But the thing is he loves these women genuinely. While Spock is also in his life.

Spock on the other hand, even with Pon Farr, doesn’t marry or get attached to anyone. He gets child-married to T’pring but literally has no interest in her🤔. After he ditches T’pring, he is pretty much alone. In TOS, he doesn’t do anything with anyone, unless drugged or something wierd happens to him. He outlives Jim by a century but there’s no one else in his life as far as we know.

Jim’s behavior of loving and having multiple relationships in his relatively short life( he dies young!) is explained away as “human”. I don’t think that’s fair tbh.

The other thing is, Spock’s struggle with his Vulcan side is seen as something he must overcome to become fully humanized. His spiritual quest , a “Vulcan” highly respected exercise of self-discovery, is seen as an act of cowardice. 🤔

Jim married Lori during the same time, which to me is a BIG deal!? I have read TMP novelization and it proves they are t’hy’la, but what if Jim fell in love with Lori at the end of 5 yrs mission? The same way he did with Edith? Etc.

I know there’s no equivalent in western spirituality/religion/lifestyle for something like Kolinahr, but it’s a little disappointing how this practice is given no respect. It’s a spiritual quest. Other Vulcans who choose to undergo it are not running away from Jims after all. It is something Spock probably wanted to do for himself and doesn’t have anything to do with Jim.

So, thinking of alI that, I believe by end of 5 yrs mission, these two are past stages of confusion and doubts. They are seasoned mature men by then. They have faced death( and that changes people!!) . Faced bizarre stuff in space. And they knew each other Inside out.

Having endured all that, a failure to say “I love you” or something wouldn’t stand in their way. That’s a cheesy romantic thing really. And again very western. They are wayyyyy past “i love you”. Lol! Words are easy to say, people say I love you all the time and then as soon as the relationship hits rocky times, apparently love evaporates. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I feel it’s actions which count. Spock has proved by his actions by then beyond any doubt that he loves Jim. And Jim , being the youngest captain in all of Starfleet is not dumb to not know that. **They both know it. They love each other and that’s done deal.**

But, in spite of that kind of love, I believe what they each wanted from future, from each other, what their needs were, was what clashed. They are both really powerful personalities. Also, unconventional. It’s uncommon to become starship captain. It’s uncommon to be only half/vulcan first officer. Their differences must hence be difficult to resolve. I think they tried. Real hard. But they couldn’t come to a resolution. Which is why Jim chooses Antonia in his ideal life. Not Spock. It makes their story really complicated and I know it’s not “romantic/happily ever after” at all, lol, but I just think about this a lot. Though, I admit, at the end of the day, “happily ever after” is what I go back to. Lol.


	5. Ode to TOS Spirk

Jim really loves Spock…he tried all his life to use humor to make Spock feel better. The humor is always just the right kind. It doesn’t disrespect Spock nor dismiss how Spock takes everything seriously and suffers. It tries to help Spock see that it’s okay. Whatever happened it’s okay. He, again and again, came back to Spock as his true love of life, more than his career, his own son(which is often forgotten), his female partners, his ship.

Spock in return, with his serious personality, stuck to Jim all his life. Doesn’t matter if Jim is flirting or sleeping with others. He suffered but nothing came in the way of his devotion to Jim. Nothing. Not death. Not post-death amnesia. I disagree with the popular reasoning behind his decision to go to Gol so not that either.

He loved that human with every piece of him and had eyes only for him.I can’t think of any other relationship which is so beautiful. Star trek TOS is often mocked for its lack of realism. It’s too hopeful. People are too good.

Spirk TOS is same. It’s a relationship which is _too full of love and devotion._ They loved each other more than their own families loved them. They never hurt each other out of spite or anger or jealousy or any of the emotions everyone feels from time to time. What they felt for each other forced them to be a better human - to not let jealousy, doubt, ego and selfishness get in the way.

A lot of relationships are each other’s “halves”. In those relationships, people are driven to somehow “own” the other. They hurt other people or even kill just so their love-interest is reunited with them. 

But these two are each other’s _**nobler**_ halves. Their love is a spiritual experience in itself. It made them more than what they would have been otherwise. Love and romance can be morally corrupt. Just because you love someone it’s not a beautiful thing. Their love a moral compass in itself. 

They aren’t trying to use the other as a crutch to fix their own internal demons. Their presence in each other’s life naturally tends to heal their own wounds. Because it’s love in its truest form. They “see” the other. And none of them is perfect either. Because it’s impossible to be perfect. They _accept_ the other person in spite of imperfections. Which helps them _accept_ their own self. 

To see your worth reflected in reverence in the eyes of another person, who is not your mother or father, but this completely different person from a completely different planet altogether, to see that kind of love in someone’s eyes, to have felt it in your mind, to have known it through physical love - how can you not be profoundly affected? Whatever their own shortcomings, it inspired them to overcome them, become a better version of themselves. Because their love freed them to reach for things self-doubt stops others from achieving. 

They didn’t love each other to keep the other for themselves. Imagine loving and being loved beyond your wildest imagination and then letting go of that person in service of others. That elevates their relationship to a whole new level. 

Jim sends Spock to his death in episodes because the greater good demands it. And Spock understands it. Willingly goes. They don’t say, “how can you do this to me? I love you. How can you leave me? Am I not important?” Instead, they say, “It was a gift you loved me. You chose me. It was an honor. I will carry you in my heart forever. I will keep doing what you are sacrificing yourself for. And I will meet you wherever it is we go after death. I will see you again. Go and save the ones who can’t save themselves. Go bravely because I love you.” 

That’s t’hy’la love.


	6. Meditation, Buddha and Vulcans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This post was response to another on Tumblr. Am adding only my part.

I certainly see a lot of similarity between the teachings of Buddha and Surak. I base my understanding of Vulcans on TOS exclusively ( so I don’t know how it will work out for the other Star Trek shows).

Meditation itself is an interesting concept. It can mean different things to different people. The general meaning of the word in English is “think deeply or focus one’s mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation.”

I find this is the popular understanding for most westerners. But, meditation in the context of Buddha is not about relaxation. It is not about religion either( again not talking about the religious aspects). It is in fact very strenuous mental work. It takes tremendous mental energy to meditate deeply. It is a tool to train the mind so that it is able to “see” the internal self. We are driven so much by the external world. We react to what happens around us, what others do to us, what others don’t do to us etc. However, we are unaware of much of our internal thought process. Emotions are intrinsic to us. Other don’t create emotions. But we tend to think in terms of “she hurt me” “he adores me” “he hates me” and we then react to those by feeling “I am sad” “I am happy” “I am worthless” etc. There is a step however between these two. Others do not cause any of our feelings, we “react”. Similar to how a pebble is not evil for making us trip over it.

Meditation is a tool to help us become self-aware such that we understand our mind’s workings. We spend so much time tending to our external body. We spend most of our lives caring about our skin or hair or face or body. We know our external selves very well - a new pimple sends us into panic. But, we are clueless about the ways in which our subconscious and unconscious mind works. I feel that is what Vulcans also strive for. The more we become in tune with our minds, the less we react to external stimuli and the more “cold” we may come across. An untrained mind is like a child’s. So, we humans are children - getting excited or dismayed or angry - whereas the Vulcan mind is able to see through and remain equanimous. The lack of display of emotion comes across as “aloof” or “boring” etc. Probably similar to how children may perceive a mature calm grown up.

Buddha had a scientific approach to spiritualism. He “observed” his own mind through years of meditation and made conclusions based on direct observation. That is the hallmark of scienctific method. He also asked each of us to do the same. Not to listen to others. But to observe for ourselves and accept only what we find the truth. I find this approach can be called “logical”. I find Spock responds to many of the statements in Star Trek by others with such logic.

Individualist vs collectivist culture is more about the religion aspect so I won’t comment on it. But I did find your summary quite accurate. I would like to think Vulcans do not follow any religion and so hopefully they are more driven by the principles of surak than the trapping of society ( but of course that never works in real life. Sarek being an example, lol!)

I also find the concept of rebirth a commonality. Vulcans have the concept of katra. Buddha during his awakening “saw” all his births flash by in his mind. When the mind apparently fully attains the highest form of self-awareness, we become aware of past births, who we were, who we are now in the context of the infinite cosmos, just like we are aware of our physical transformation over our lifetime.

Spock going to Gol has always reminded me Buddha’s quest which ends in nirvana. I know it’s popular to think Spock left because of Kirk ( and I totally have fun thinking so when reading fanfiction. How romantic, lol!) but in seriousness, I believe Spock reached a point in his life like Buddha had. He needed to understand the nature of universe/the truth/the questions which haunt as we grow older. _Who are we? Is there more?_

The motion picture and V’ger talks a lot about this. Attaining higher meaning. There is decker and his girlfriend too, but I see it not so much as romantic pairing as much as pairing of a human soul to the higher meaning/universe/truth. The idea of going to Gol and undergoing meditation is quite like Buddha and people who try to find nirvana similarly. It is a life of giving up materialistic world, and meditating night and day. I find it fascinating that Vulcan has this concept.


	7. StarFleet Academy/Education

So, I am trying to hash out some details about the TOS education system.

As per canon, Jim starts StarFleet at age 19 and in 5 years, he graduates with all necessary knowledge of not just advanced theoretical concepts( wormhole, warp, matter-anti matter implosion,etc.), but also advanced military tactical and warfare training. He is also adept at basic sciences and knows how to create a crude bomb out of basic elements. Can quote literature like a boss.

Similarly, Bones is not just a doctor, but a surgeon, psychologist, exobiologist plus a reseracher - he pioneers several advancements in medicine. Though exact date is not known in canon, he graduates sometime around 2252/2253- the same time Jim starts StarFleet. By this time he leads(not just participates) the massive innoculation program on Dramia II. McCoy is 24-25 years age.

Judging by their accomplishments and ages, I have concluded :

1\. The american system of college/undergrad/grad OR pre med, med, residency, fellowship does not apply. This system is not global even in current times, so certainly can not be the system followed by an unified earth in future.

2\. Every new generation is smarter and faster. The kids today learn what people in previous generations learnt, much earlier in lives. By the time in TOS world, humankind has progressed enough, where the equivalent of 4 yr college is finished by age 16-18. Jim already knows a lot before he joins StarFleet. 

3\. At StarFleet all of them are grad level. Similarly, McCoy has finished in 8 yrs what would take 11-12 years by current American system.

4\. Finally, StarFleet is ivy league level. You need sponsorship to even get in. These men are all brightest of the brightest, so it’s fair to assume that many of them have been on accelerated tracks in their school.


	8. How Jim and Spock change in (some of ) the movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This post is movie Jim/Prime Jim critical so if you don’t want to read please skip :)

I feel terribly offended on Spock’s behalf when Jim acts in subtle ways in the movies which no longer are consistent with his amazing, universe-altering understanding of TOS Spock. 

He used to be the _only_ one who understood Spock in such a nuanced way that even Spock’s mother couldn’t. TOS Jim was extraordinary because of this. 

But in the movies he acts in sometimes subtle and sometimes outright ways that are no longer TOS Jim like. He is just another great “hero” who does impossible stuff. But his gentle, wise, humor in just the right shade, deeply insightful trait is gone.

Example, when he says “we’re all humans.” After spending sooooo much time together, after having seen Spock go through everything, after seeing Spock grow and mature and become an icon…that sentence was like a slap. I know we are supposed to interpret as “not serious” and see the humor in it. My point is TOS Jim managed to find humor without ever crossing that fine line. 

Here’s the dialogue. It’s such an important and intimate scene. Spock is reflecting so deeply on such serious topics. Jim seems to be in a rush though. TOS Jim was not like this. He was sometimes even more serious than Spock in marinating in uncomfortable topics and questions.

**[Spock’s quarters]**

_KIRK: Spock?  
SPOCK: I prefer it dark.  
KIRK: Dining on ashes?  
SPOCK: You were right. It was arrogant presumption on my part that got us into this situation. You and the Doctor might have been killed.  
KIRK: The night is young. You said it yourself. It was logical. Peace is worth a few personal risks. …You’re a great one for logic. I’m a great one for rushing in where angels fear to tread. We’re both extremists. Reality is probably somewhere in between us. …I couldn’t get past the death of my son._

So, here, I am disappointed that this Jim, after so many amazing adventures has reduced the wonderfully rich characters of Captain Kirk and Spock to “extremists”. They were not extremists! That’s why TOS feels so soothing. They were stubborn as hell but neither was a reckless extremist. They did what they did with internal logic and wisdom, often at great cost to personal emotional comfort. 

Also, TOS Jim is not someone who rushes where angles fear to tread unless there is NO other way remaining? He does so out of some higher reason and with self-awareness. TOS Jim has been through Tarsus, lost his brother, his nephews, lost crewmen etc…so loss isn’t an explanation for his sudden shift in personality here. If anyone knows grief inside and out it’s TOS Jim. Movie Jim takes all that away by using his son’s loss(whom he didn’t know all his life) as an explanation. At this point it sounds more like the anger of an aging male who wanted his bloodline to continue and that glory has been snatched from him. It’s about “him”.

_  
SPOCK: I was prejudiced by her accomplishments as a Vulcan.  
KIRK: Gorkon had to die before I understood how prejudiced I was.  
SPOCK: Is it possible …that we two, you and I, have grown so old and so inflexible …that we have outlived our usefulness? …Would that constitute a joke?  
KIRK: Don’t crucify yourself. It wasn’t your fault.  
SPOCK: I was responsible.  
KIRK: For no actions but your own  
SPOCK: That is not what you said at your trial.  
KIRK: That was as Captain of a ship. Human beings…  
SPOCK: But Captain, we both know that I am not human.  
KIRK: Do you want to know something? …Everybody’s human.  
SPOCK: I find that remark …insulting.  
KIRK: Come on, I need you._

This feels like a dialogue between two souls who once knew each other and now drifting apart. Spock seems to be still reaching out. He attempts to “joke”. That has always been his way to amuse Jim. It was a dance both enjoyed. But Jim is supposed to then reach out as well in that unique way he alone is capable of. 

Saying stuff like “you’re not responsible” is normal dialogue. TOS Jim would then very gently say something like “you’re a stubborn man”. I found his manner incredibly soothing and understanding and yet beautiful. With movie Jim, he seems to say, I have had enough of you, Spock, move on already. You’re actually human, okay? Everyone is ( because I am one) - it’s again about “him”. I need you, isn’t that enough for you? 

It’s not like movie Jim has done anything horrendous. It’s not like they are having a fight here. He is just perfectly normal. A normal hero, typical in his bravado, charisma, regrets. He still wins against enemies and saves the day. I am not angry at him. I am just disappointed and hurt, I suppose. He is now a common hero who is removed from the messy intricacies of existence of beings like Spock.

To put it differently how would it feel to hear after a lifetime of friendship your friend say, “Do you want to know something?…everyone’s neurotypical” or “You know something?… everyone’s hetero” and so on. Spock’s duality is innate to him…he is never going to become “human” ( or Vulcan). It is this struggle, which may change in flavor as he moves through life sure but it will always be present, that made him such an iconic character that people identified with so deeply. TOS Jim unapologetically and unconditionally accepted _that_ Spock 


End file.
